Bits and bobs.

I'm sure I've used that post title before.

 It was 90-something degrees yesterday. There was frost over the weekend. Who else is tired of climate change? When I saw the forecast for Tuesday I ordered an air conditioner in anticipation. Last summer I just sucked it up, but this year I have a very furry beastie living with me and I really don't want to subject her to extreme heat.

 I had a photoshoot on Monday night with a friend who's expanding his photography side biz into headshots. I went in with no plan and a bottle of wine and now there are a lot of terrible shots of me putting my hands in my hair and looking like he just instructed me to do that very thing, and then a bunch of me dancing around like a jackass, and some that look like your friendly realtor who shops at Eileen Fisher (not the look I'm trying to rock, FYI), and one of me in a tight red dress walking like an Egyptian. Plus others that are not so comical. Hopefully we'll be able to locate a couple of useful ones in the midst of all the ridiculousness. It was fun, regardless. Every time I do something like that these days I have this fleeting sense of "this might be the last time I look this good," which I do realize is stupid, and just means I'm sopping up what the world is telling me about being a lady who is getting older.

Anyway, once some good-enough shot has been lightly retouched for public viewing, I will share it here. 

Who has shopped for a new (used) car recently? Am I the only person who is totally overwhelmed by this? I have it narrowed down to like 4 models now and I need to start test-driving but I am scared of dealerships, even the ones with good reviews. I made a conscious decision to kind of stop fixing stuff on my current hoopty because of impending new car purchase, and I need to buy something before that decision backfires all over me. When my car got towed a couple weeks ago the idea of just leaving it at the impound lot did flit through my brain. Haha. For one thing, the AC compressor went out last summer and I just had them disconnect it from the fan. I'm not going to drive an oven again this summer.

I'm also getting a kayak, I've decided. There's a free try-before-you-buy kind of thing happening after work at the next lake over, so I'm going to go to that and then probably just find something on craigslist. An inflatable thing, most likely, so I can throw it in the back of whatever car I eventually buy.

I finally had a diet Dr P today after several days of jonesing, and now I am awash in chemical regret.

Musics.

This video is incredible and the song is incredible. Major, major new artist. You probably didn't hear it here first, but I'm going to say it for the record anyway.


This video is awful, but I love the song. I heard it at Crate and Barrel, which is about right, don't you think?


Hiatus Kaiyote, inscrutable name aside, is another major musical talent. It hits me in the Venn diagram intersection of Bjork, neo-soul, and opera ripoffs.

Now even if you've ignored the rest of the post, just stop whatever you're doing and watch the majesty that is Janelle Monae if you haven't seen this yet.

Vacation all I ever wanted.

This week has presented me with a host of re-entry problems after a VERY FINE long weekend in Chicago. The number one problem is the weather, or the fucking weather, if you want me to get more specific about it. Today is May 3 and it was snowing, SNOWING, when I left the house this morning. On Wednesday we were all in a tizzy because of a predicted 6-9-15 or howevermany inches of snow. SE of here, people were indeed treated to an unwelcome / ridiculous / recordbreaking snow dump that somehow completely missed us. I'm grateful to have been spared but still irritated about the entire thing and am probably still carrying the psychological weight of that forecast. It's May. MAY. It's May, y'all. On Tuesday it was warm! I was wearing a stupendous warm-weather outfit! Sandals! This morning it was 32 F!

I've just completely had it with climate change and the roller coaster it's causing.

Plus, my car was towed on Wednesday. What's worse, I think, is that I happened to stroll by my front window as it was being lifted on the truck, so that I was struck with sudden panic. By the time I ran outside (barefoot, pajama-clad, bed-headed) into the wet 40 degree morning, the truck was down the block and I was impotent to change anything. I didn't rage or cry or break shit, though all would have been perfectly logical reactions. I just heaved a sigh and changed my plans.

So I biked to work where I had a good scone and a terrible day and left early to ride my bike to the impound lot. En route, some jokester jackass pedestrian pretend-jumped in front of my bike with his arms raised and then giggled like he'd done something hilarious and I had to yell "NOT COOL DUDE" in a monster voice, which is just what came out of my mouth involuntarily. We were on an isolated bike/walk path, by the way, and someone jumping at my bike in such a circumstance tops the list of bike-related fears that I don't really let myself contemplate.

I also saw a turkey pacing frantically in front of a fence, like it was looking for a way to get to the other side, and I found the sight really depressing. Poor dumb turkey.

Anyway, people working at the impound lot are really nice, which is surprising when you consider the emotional state of most of the folks retrieving their impounded cars. Once I was home and hot-showered and fed and napping on the couch, the horizon opened up a crack and blazed a suntrail across the lake, so I went out to get some serenity and was rewarded with the sight of four pelicans cruising on the lake and a sunset that got spectacular after the sun was down. Small compensation, but I'll take it. I'd never seen pelicans in the city before, and the next day they were gone.

Work is also chapping my tender hide, but that's nothing new.

So, Chicago. Why don't I go there more often, like at least once a year? It's so dumb. If I'm flying solo I have a place to stay now, and I am perfectly happy just wandering around a city, walking miles and miles until I see an interesting shop or bar to go into. I put a lot of miles on my Fryes over the weekend, man, traversing many neighborhoods on foot. I bought some crazy/stupid (yet versatile/comfortable!) shoes at City Soles, I got a dress and a perfect spring sweater at a resale shop, I petted some Fluevogs, I bought some great prints at a gallery (where we'd randomly stopped off and witnessed the premiere of the shortest of short animations the first night in town) and had them shipped to me like a fancy lady. We went into some truly grotty thrift stores. We had MANY a delicious cocktail. I ate unreal vegan meats, finally knocking the Chicago Diner off my list (thrice, actually). I howled and wept with laughter; I both chatted flippantly and went deep with my friends. We saw the goddamn Lemonheads in concert at Lincoln Hall. The Lemonheads, y'all! Evan Dando! Sassy magazine's favorite boyfriend of like 1991! The concert was one of those spontaneous decisions that turns out to be The Perfect Thing. We had beers and bounced along in a great, unexpected 90s reverie and we ate burritos at 11:30 PM and went home early like old people.

I connected with a bunch of ladies I love. I packed almost perfectly (note to self: you can always use one more pair of lounge pants on vacation). I had easy airport experiences. We had a great airbnb rental. It was just good. Good good good. Vacation. It's good for you. It'll be awhile before I can take another but I'm going to work on more long weekends doing fun stuff in the future.

Meanwhile, Winnie was home hissing at my lovely, dedicated catsitters, which is a little sad. But she was psychologically undamaged and beside herself with joy when I got home, which made me feel irreplaceable. It was still warm at that point, so I opened all the windows and delighted in watching her lose her shit racing from window to window to SNIFF ALL THE THINGS. And of course, she is a cozy buddy when it is cold and shitty outside.

Good weather's coming back next week. Hopefully my attitude will return with it. Happy weekending, y'all.

30 days of biking update.

So, I don't know if you follow Minneapolis weather, but it has been complete bullshit this April. We have had two major snowstorms, the most recent of which was a mere two days ago, and it dumped 5 or 6 inches on us overnight. What's so offensive about it, beside the fact of major snow in April, is that you spend valuable time shoveling or scooping snow off your car in the morning, and then by evening it's practically gone, like it never happened, like your morning commute didn't suck.

Needless to say, snowstorms are a major mellow harsh when it comes to biking pledges. I was so demoralized by the first one that I publicly confessed to facebook that I had fallen off the bike pledge wagon. It happened last Thursday. A close friend/family member died on Monday night (about which more later), and I had a concert midday on Thursday that more or less commemorated her work (coincidental scheduling), and I just had to get through it. By the time the concert was done it was snowing heavily and I had a very real and deep feeling of Fuck It. So that was that.

Then I had some days of phoning it in. Short rides, bogus rides. Then I skipped Sunday due to busy day/late night/tipsyness. Then I skipped Monday, I think, because again: major snowstorm. But I'm back. I think we're done with snow. I think it's over. I rode to buy cat food yesterday and saw a great blue heron standing in the creek along the way, so close I could see its long chest feathers fluttering in the breeze. Today I rode to work again, after several days of not being able to. Damn this April, I say. This April has been so, so shitty, with record low temperatures and just general terribleness. I have had it.

Right now I'm waiting on the sunset and am going to go bounding across the street to take pictures in a few minutes. My hammer pants of a few posts ago arrived in the mail this week and they look TERRIBLE on me, so I'm back to the drawing board on that style concept, but I'm currently wearing them anyway. Two dear friends of mine are moving far, far away and I've had two melancholy/fun farewells with them. I thought I had another chance to say goodbye Friday, but guess what? I am going on a wee vacation on Friday! Going to Chicago to convene with some ladies and see what we see. I am excited! But the question, as ever, is WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR? Not hammer pants, I guess. Apparently, it's going to be 70 F in Minneapolis this weekend, so naturally I am going to miss it. But at least I know it's coming, like the rest of spring.

Henry turned 11!!! yesterday! and I gave him a ukulele, which he figured out how to play in about 10 minutes, and then we were jamming on some song by fun. that I don't actually know. So gratifying to give a gift that's a huge hit. Plus the instrument is adorable--I got him a soprano Lanikai starter instrument (not a toy, in other words) and I squeed when I opened the shipping box. I might have to get one for myself. Later in the evening I was trying to figure out the chords to Old Man River and astonishing/cracking up my sister Em by knowing and singing all the words. It turned into a weird party pretty fast. But my best ukulele accomplishment is still "I Will Survive." It sounds as hilarious as you imagine.

Critter report.

I have seen a lot of wildlife while tootling around on my bike during this craptastic month (you have two weeks to turn it around, April. I have my eye on you). For one thing, there is a wee flock of turkeys hanging around by the river road, walking and hopping around prehistorically, displaying their full fanned out tails (the dude turkey, anyway), and serenely disrupting traffic. They actually walked right up to the window next to my staff meeting a week or two ago, fixing us with their dinosaur eyes.

So that's fun. I had my first heron sighting last Tuesday, but I was in the car at the time. Still, my heart skipped a beat. I love seeing them; I don't know why. Don't be surprised if I show up with a heron tattoo one of these days. Anyway, I'd been watching for their return and hoping to see them on the lake rather than just flying over the highway. I finally caught up with one on last night's late, dark, cold, wonderful ride. It was standing at the water's edge, hunched up and sleeping. I spied on it from the footbridge. Next to the heron, two beavers cruised around in the open water and one slapped a warning at me. They waddled up to the shore and chattered, or maybe scolded me.

The night before last, I saw two foxes romping in the snow next to the next lake over, which was as magical as it sounds. One thing I will say for the (stupid, relentless) snow and (depressing) overcast sky: it is very easy to glimpse the critters silhouetted against them. And then I feel uplifted, and unconcerned about the weather, at least for a half hour or so. Lone geese honk gently in the dark. The ducks quack in the creek, like cartoon ducks, or parodies of ducks. Little by little, the water overtakes the ice.

The report on 30 Days of Biking

As you may or may not know, the weather here in MN has been bullshit this week. I have also had some days where I had to drive to work because of scheduling and travel time issues, negating my ace in the hole for 30 Days of Biking, the work commute.

So three days in a row I found myself at the ass end of the day without having gotten on my bike, while coincidentally it was a) dark b) precipitating somehow, either snowing, raining, ice pelleting, or threatening to do one or more of these and c) cold, duh.

On two of those days I did an enormous amount of sucking it up and rode around the lake, which is a pretty quick 4 miles and normally a very nice recreational ride. Last night I fully intended to observe the letter of the 30 day pledge but not the spirit by taking a cruise around the block at 10 PM. But, and this will be familiar to those of you who love to ride bikes, pretty much as soon as my butt was in the saddle I was like WHEEE I FEEEL LIKE MEEEEE.

I will paint the picture: yesterday, what with the THUNDERSNOW and the above-freezing temps, we wound up with several inches of slush on the ground by the end of the day. I was wearing knee high socks, short pants, and loud spring green wellies. It was dark, but the kind of overcast dark that traps a lot of light between the clouds and the asphalt (and snow). Wet slop was falling out of the sky and off the trees. Wee ice pellet-y bits slanted directly at my eyeballs. But I took off up the creek trail and was pleased to see that there was a tire track from some other intrepid Minnesotan, and instead of phoning it in for a block I stayed  out for 10 or 15 minutes.

I wasn't dressed for it or in the mood for it or anything, but as soon as I'm pedaling I am like a little furnace chugging around the neighborhood. Late at night, it is quiet and the potential for solitude is high. And all three of these late, don't-wanna-go rides have been great. And I wouldn't have gone on any of them if not for the 30 day pledge, so huzzah for the pledge, I say.

I bought these cuckoo pants on etsy.

From this shop.

And yes I'm going to walk around holding the non-functional corners out like that.

In other news, it fucking snowed 5-6 inches last night and there was fucking THUNDERSNOW and it's still fucking snowing.