Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Don't crash the car tonight; it doesn't suit you anymore.

Want to hear something funny, internets? Just before I stepped outside this morning, I idly thought "what if my car has four flat tires?"--you know, the way things cross your mind, for no good reason. What I didn't think was "what if some asshole crashed into my car between 1 and 8 AM and then drove away?" That is what actually happened, you see: a thing that has never happened in front of my parents' house in the 16 years they've been living here.

I am minus a chunk of car and a lot of auto glass, unless you count the glass that is all over the inside of the car and all over the street, and the best part is that probably none of it will be covered by my insurance, zero-deductible auto glass coverage notwithstanding. Insurance is so awesome, isn't it? How you pay into it your whole life and it almost never pays you back? That's my favorite. It makes me feel good about having just dropped the cash for my 6 month premium. (UPDATE: okay, fine, they're covering the glass. But they're dealer parts and I have to wait 7-10 business days for them, which means I'll be the one with the ghetto plastic over the windows, so I am still entitled to my sarcasm.)

I will share some pictures with you later, I promise. Fatty looks very forlorn, denuded of her rear windshield.

Also, last night I saw "Lakme," officially the stupidest opera ever. Garrison Keillor was two rows up, looking rather busted in a tie-less tuxedo and red Sauconys, and whispering loudly to his kid (hopefully advising her not to try to make sense of the story). I can't really complain, since I'm sure my hysteria at the "plot," libretto ("you have taught me words of tenderness that Hindus do not know"), and staging was loud enough to annoy all of the other arts patrons in my vicinity, aside from Dom and BCSM, who were equally hysterical. Seriously: stupidest opera ever, and that's really saying something.


  1. Augh, so sorry about the car. There's never a good time to deal with that crap.

    And what glam ensemble did you choose for the opera?

  2. The opera snuck up on me (surprise invitation), so I was just wearing the bag-ladyish thing I had on earlier in the day.

  3. Dang girl, I hope you catch a break soon. Wishing you well and hopeful for you..

  4. Oh, your tender blue car! Sorry to hear about it, man.

  5. Oh man, that is totally for suck. I hope said Fatty will resurrect in an Easter miracle.

    Also sending lots of virtual cookies your way, the best cure for looking and feeling tragic.

  6. michelle/weaker vessel4/5/07, 11:46 AM

    Um, Inscrutable Cosmos? Can you please back up out of Maven Haven's grill a bit? k, thx

  7. Lakme? Oh, dear. Stupidest opera ever is actually being too kind.