Here are Eight Recent Real Life Events I Would Use as Portents if I Were Writing a Midwestern Magical Realism Novel, plus Five Things I am Selling on Ebay This Week.
1. We see a crow flying away from the lake at sunset with a whole fish in its mouth.
2. I walk into a thrift store and the first two things I happen to focus on in my beeline for the shoe section say the name "Tommy" on them.
3. I'm singing a Feist song as I unlock the car and when I get in, a song from her new record, which I've not yet heard, is playing on the radio. Note: I am not singing the song I've never heard.
4. My zen driving leads me to two garage sales, one in a neighborhood I don't know at all but which felt very homey and simultaneously like I was in a different city, and another on the suburban extension of the street I grew up on. (This would be a better portent if the sales yielded any booty, but they don't.)
5. I screech to a halt just before hitting a bunny and I actually shriek/wail "BUNNY!" as this is happening. My car window is open, so I sincerely hope someone hears me.
6. There is a feather in my path, twice.
7. In my old neighborhood, I nostalgically think "this is such a nice place" and then I see new graffiti on the railroad bridge. It says "UR BITCH ASS" and makes me laugh out loud. "Bitch Ass" was once my number one insult/synonym, as in "I haven't seen his bitch ass in days. Where was your bitch ass last night? That woman across the hall is such a bitch ass."
8. We see a heron standing in the lake, silhouetted in the light trail of the full moon. The frogs are singing.
9. This, which is so not me but which I'm tempted to keep:
10. Also this, which I really would have wanted in the 80s:
11. This, which is so insane I hope someone buys it:
12. These, which are not my size, to my chagrin:
13. Aaaaand, these, ditto on the size issue:
Plus all this other crap.
I know, I copped out on this list. Why aren't there more portents in my life?