Thursday, May 03, 2007

Have to believe we are magic: Thursday Thirteen.

Here are Eight Recent Real Life Events I Would Use as Portents if I Were Writing a Midwestern Magical Realism Novel, plus Five Things I am Selling on Ebay This Week.

1. We see a crow flying away from the lake at sunset with a whole fish in its mouth.

2. I walk into a thrift store and the first two things I happen to focus on in my beeline for the shoe section say the name "Tommy" on them.

3. I'm singing a Feist song as I unlock the car and when I get in, a song from her new record, which I've not yet heard, is playing on the radio. Note: I am not singing the song I've never heard.

4. My zen driving leads me to two garage sales, one in a neighborhood I don't know at all but which felt very homey and simultaneously like I was in a different city, and another on the suburban extension of the street I grew up on. (This would be a better portent if the sales yielded any booty, but they don't.)

5. I screech to a halt just before hitting a bunny and I actually shriek/wail "BUNNY!" as this is happening. My car window is open, so I sincerely hope someone hears me.

6. There is a feather in my path, twice.

7. In my old neighborhood, I nostalgically think "this is such a nice place" and then I see new graffiti on the railroad bridge. It says "UR BITCH ASS" and makes me laugh out loud. "Bitch Ass" was once my number one insult/synonym, as in "I haven't seen his bitch ass in days. Where was your bitch ass last night? That woman across the hall is such a bitch ass."

8. We see a heron standing in the lake, silhouetted in the light trail of the full moon. The frogs are singing.

9. This, which is so not me but which I'm tempted to keep:
Grey secretary blouse; red wool pencil skirt.

10. Also this, which I really would have wanted in the 80s:
Vintage Laura Ashley gown.

11. This, which is so insane I hope someone buys it:
I pledge allegiance to this fabric.

12. These, which are not my size, to my chagrin:
Black Circa Joan & David mary janes 7.5

13. Aaaaand, these, ditto on the size issue:
Red Nine West mary janes 8.5

Plus all this other crap.

I know, I copped out on this list. Why aren't there more portents in my life?


  1. Ah, I've admired the bridge graffiti, too.

    Bunny, don't do it! Don't run out in front of cars!

    That crazy blue dress made me want to grab the red rosette on the bosom. I wouldn't, of course. Maybe that's a selling point?

  2. Hee. "UR BITCH ASS" I love it. Not your average vulgarity. The best cursing is the kind where the curser puts a little imagination into it. Like once, at the library where I work, a bunch of high school boys jammed up the computer room printer by printing about 100 pages of the phrase "FUCKITY PENIS". Awesome.

  3. I love the idea of a Midwestern magic realist novel that you're not writing but that exists out there somewhere (its existence proven by the portents that have wandered into your life).

  4. Melwadel: IT'S SO TIGHT.

    Melinda: I laughed helplessly about fuckity penis for like ten minutes and am tempted to start fuckity-penis-bombing printers everywhere.

    Green Whale: An interesting idea. I will have to keep my eyes open so that the novel can reveal itself to me.

  5. michelle/weaker vessel5/7/07, 1:49 PM

    LOVED. I even loved the cop-out. I loved #1 so much that I made a collage about it. Will flickr soon.

    I agree, KEEP THE RED SKIRT. All-caps fashion emergency. Ha-cha-cha.