I used to be really into checking my site stats and the like, partly because I was so intrigued to know whether anyone was reading and partly because sometimes the stats would tell me exactly who was reading. I haven't checked them in ages because at some point I stopped caring about them, but today I looked and discovered that at least one of you got here because you googled "how to become a manatee." I hope you found what you were looking for, somewhere on the internets. Same goes for you, "peehole sex."
It's Saturday morning and I'm doing my most favorite Saturday morning activity: watching PBS and drinking coffee. Do you ever watch New Scandinavian Cooking? It's rare that any one of these chefs makes something that I could eat, but I am totally intrigued by the whole thing, especially the part where whoever is hosting sets up an al fresco kitchen station and prepares food while wearing winter gear (weather permitting). One time the chef, I don't remember who it was, skied to his location and busted out his sandwich and grilled it with a torch, which is bad-ass.
They've been running the Claus Meyer season of the show for awhile now--he's the Danish cook and reading his biography is enough to make you feel like a very small, sad, non-achiever. In fact, I believe I first googled Claus Meyer the same day I read a feature in some mag about Miranda July--another person who makes you wonder what exactly it is you do with all your precious time--and I thought, "man, what have I been doing with myself?" Claus Meyer is vigorous, good-looking, entrepreneurial, totally committed to local flavor and fair trade, founded and owns multiple businesses, is a professor, and runs marathons. Seriously, just go read his CV. You will cry. Unless you are similarly credentialed, in which case what are you doing reading totally off-topic blogs? Don't you have an empire to run?
I love cooking shows and my interest in them has almost nothing to do with whether or not I can harness the demonstrated techniques and recipes for my own use. It's the care lavished on ingredients and preparation, the attention to the food source, the sense of place and history--all of those things are interesting to me. It's a passion that I can totally appreciate, since we are what we eat. Today, unfortunately, I am a grocery-store croissant.
Hey, did you know that my sister's having a baby, like, next week?
Just insert another little girl-face in there.