My brother's girlfriend went crazy and knocked him down with his own car and dragged him with it and then drove away. The ambulance came; the police came; Hob got a concussion. And, uh, he and his girlfriend broke up.
My dad is writing a country song about it as a gift to my brother, who will hopefully be able to see the humor in the gesture at some point soon. As for me, I sent him a text message saying "that girl is poison." I hope he will see the humor in that immediately.
UPDATE: His response was the title of this post. Then I told him to watch his back. Then he said something about having so much back he could see it from the front. This makes watching your own back a lot easier.