Friday, April 11, 2008

So I've been underground in work-related training all week, in a Soviet-era-looking tech school out in the suburbs, with no access to email or internets during the workday, and free meal tickets that can only buy pale, sad, processed food. It was part informative, part entertaining, part depressing, part mind-numbing, and 100 percent ass-and-back-crippling. The chairs were the worst chairs ever invented, the kind my delicate heinie last encountered in elementary school music class.

But on the plus side, there were free donuts and one instructor (out of the FOUR we encountered) was actually quite excellent, to the point that I got truly interested in what he was presenting, which, for your information, was about hoists and riggings. I now have a certification that is a crack-up even to think about, but it will be useful for my current job. I think.

Also accomplished this week, in conjunction with training activities:
  • I developed a new repertoire of doodles, which is kind of a big deal because I had been stuck in a rut for awhile and I think these new ones will be quite useful when I start using my goddamn Gocco, finally.
  • I ate three donuts.
  • I recorded some malapropisms, neologisms, and just plain old inept speaking by one of our instructors. An example would be the word "fraudule," which you can use to describe the illegitimacy of a lawsuit: a "fraudule claim." Pronounce it to rhyme with "nodule." A "fraudule nodule" would be a benign tumor, I suggested to Anna, who was at the training with me.
  • I drank twice as many green smoothies as usual to help fill the nutritional void left by pizza and "fruit" smoothies.
  • I failed to go to bed early any night this week, despite the fact that my day started 1.5 hours earlier than usual. Today, I am feeling it. As soon as I've shopped for groceries, I'm taking a nap.
The weather is back in Hot Bullshit territory.

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