Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Unheard voices in the reproductive rights discussion.

Read this tremendous post on the trauma of being a relinquishing birth mother. It was eye-opening to me--both post and comments--and clearly needs to be part of discussions about reproductive rights.
I have given a baby up for adoption, and I have had an abortion, and while anecdotes are not evidence, I can assert that abortions may or may not cause depression - it certainly did not in me, apart from briefly mourning the path not taken - but adoption? That is an entirely different matter. I don't doubt that there are women who were fine after adoption, and there is emphatically nothing wrong with that or with them; but I want to point out that if we're going to have a seemingly neverending discussion about the sorrow and remorse caused by abortion, then it is about goddamn time that we hear from birth mothers too.
The post also contains one of the best rejoinders to self-righteous folks who want to weigh in on your choices that I've ever seen:
Address your own issues. I suggest volunteer work, but I don't recommend any kind of personal contact; you lack empathy. Many cities, even small ones, have beautification programs involving cleanup and planting trees, which might do for a start. You will be enriching the lives of others, improving your own health, you can proudly point out "your" trees, and you'll feel self-righteous with damn good reason for a change.
Is this a good time to let you know that I'm doing the Pro-Choice Resources Bowlathon fundraiser next week? The extreme busy-ness of my recent days has really limited my fundraising efforts, but I've got a week to go and feel certain that I can still do more for this excellent organization. If you haven't been with me through the last few bowlathons, PCR is a local grassroots organization that provides education, financial assistance, advocacy, and outreach. It's not a clinic or a lobbying group, but an organization that exists to empower women to make their own decisions about their reproductive health.

This is a tough year for fundraising in general, and with good reason. But one thing that might encourage you to make a donation is the knowledge that every dollar you donate makes a real impact on this organization and the people who are served by its programs. PCR doesn't receive federal or United Way funding. If you can spare $5, you can help provide condoms for at-risk youth.

=My personal donation page is at Remember: every little bit helps.


  1. Yea, I'd say that's perfect timing to bring up the Bowl A Thon, after that first quote.

  2. One day I'll turn to you (virtually, in the Comments) and say, has it been ten Bowlathons already? As long as you Bowl for Choice, I shall Donate for Choice. Can we make this a Facebook thing too so I can publicly flaunt this in front of my PP-picketing sister-in-law?
    Also, I kept waiting for this story ( to show up in a feminist blog today and I saw hide not hair of it - it's the worst thing I've read in a million years, maybe because I read it thinking it might be a happy story at first...and then realized it was not happy at all. I knew immediately I wanted to share it with you...

  3. Sponsored, for less than I would like, sadly. So many worthy causes, so little money.

  4. Kyla, holy shit, that's a terrible story. What a downer. The headline is terribly misleading.

    I just made a pretty weeny donation, but I too am happy you do this and keep the issues on our minds. I have hardly any income right now but, like Kyla, I'll always support your bowlathon. Rock on.