Dear lumbering squirrels of autumn,
Why is your death wish so urgent and so grisly these days? I know you're busy trying to eat some nuts and pack on a winter layer, but could you not cast an eye in my direction before you scoot under my bike wheel? If I run one of you over on my bike, o squirrels of autumn, I will never recover.
Dear 30th Avenue at the creek,
You are such a lovely stretch, what with your pedestrian footbridge where I once saw a heron standing in the water. Why, then, must you alternately smell like ass, dog ass, and feet?
Thank you for all of the beautiful days, which are totally making up for October. If only you had another hour of daylight for me after work.
Dear student pedestrians of the campus,
Stop texting and stay the fuck out of the bike lane.
Basically I hate you,