Wednesday, November 18, 2009

In which I launch a letter writing campaign.

Dear lumbering squirrels of autumn,
Why is your death wish so urgent and so grisly these days? I know you're busy trying to eat some nuts and pack on a winter layer, but could you not cast an eye in my direction before you scoot under my bike wheel? If I run one of you over on my bike, o squirrels of autumn, I will never recover.
Sincerely,
Maven

Dear 30th Avenue at the creek,
You are such a lovely stretch, what with your pedestrian footbridge where I once saw a heron standing in the water. Why, then, must you alternately smell like ass, dog ass, and feet?
Love,
Maven

Dear November,
Thank you for all of the beautiful days, which are totally making up for October. If only you had another hour of daylight for me after work.
Warmly,
Maven

Dear student pedestrians of the campus,
Stop texting and stay the fuck out of the bike lane.
Basically I hate you,
Maven

13 comments:

  1. Hilario.


    I contemplated squirrels in a new way when my dog came closer to catching one than ever before.

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  2. HA you used "warmly"

    Now I have to go put my hand in someone else's pocket...

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  3. Or pee someone else's pants.

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  4. Also, your hair in that avatar pic is like BLINGGGGGGG!

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  5. I know, I am really glad I stopped dyeing it. It was bonkers for awhile there.

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  6. Officially dying of love for this post.

    Also, radicalissimo on your decreasing debt. And your brother's affiancement. I know those are totally separate posts, but I feel like rolling all the love up right in here.

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