Monday, March 22, 2010

Awesome sentences from a work-related document.

"Vaccinators can be vaccinated at the time they begin vaccinating but it may be preferable to vaccinate vaccinators earlier than that to eliminate the possibility that the vaccinators may be experiencing vaccine-related symptoms and not feel well enough to work for a few days (possibly up to 1/3), usually ~7-10 days after being vaccinated. Each state will determine how they will vaccinate vaccinators."

Doesn't that just melt your eyeballs?

10 comments:

  1. I would give anything to take credit for that collection of awesomeness.

    ReplyDelete
  2. My eyes actually just melted.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Reminds me of the postcard advertising a program that went out from The Little Law School in which the word "participant" was used TEN TIMES in THREE PARAGRAPHS.

    The program title? - "Writing Well and Writing Better."

    ReplyDelete
  4. Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Man, somebody's editor was messing with them...

    ReplyDelete
  6. 7-10 days after being vaccinated, huh?

    ReplyDelete
  7. I feel compelled to point out that this is on the CDC website.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I want to put in a vote for this ridiculous paragraph because at least it errs on the side of clarity. How else can you say vaccinate? I hate it when copywriters use bullshit words in an attempt to mix it up. For example, I really hate that NPR underwriter spot about "building a more just, verdant and peaceful world." Verdant. Pssssh. "Green" is tired, yes, but verdant? Come on.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hahaha, that spot has never bothered me because I like the word "verdant" so much and also because I think it's way more evocative than "green." "Green" also now means many things besides "verdant," so maybe they were just trying to be precise.

    Regarding the ridiculous paragraph, at least they could have broken it up into more sentences. I'm tempted to take a crack at rewriting, but I wouldn't want to deprive the world of the paragraph as it stands.

    ReplyDelete
  10. "Verdant" is a great word, it really is. But the green movement isn't really about the color green, and I doubt that organization's purpose is to literally turn the world green with vegetation. Maybe they are -- maybe they're a big gardening outfit. But when I hear "verdant" on that spot I can only see greaseballs in an ad agency conference room.

    ReplyDelete