Damn! I punked out on yesterday's daily post. But I did post a recipe for this:

Diversifying.

You know how sometimes I like to tell you what I cook, and sometimes I post "recipes"? From here on out you'll be able to find those at Makeshift Cook.

That is all.

Cookies.

I actually got off my heinie and did some share-worthy holiday baking this year. I can't believe I've never given you the following cookie recipe before, since I make these every Christmas, but I have made a halfhearted search of all my archives and can't find it. So here you go. Vegans, I strongly suggest that you try to veganize this recipe. It's the bomb.

Cranberry Orange Chocolate Chip Cookies
1/2 c plus 6 T butter
2/3 c sugar
1 c brown sugar
1 egg
1/2 T vanilla
2 t orange zest (about one orange's worth. Don't skip this.)
1/2 t salt
3/4 t baking soda
2 c flour
1 c quick oats
1 c dried cranberries
1 c dark/bittersweet chocolate chunks
1/2 c walnuts (optional, but so very tasty)

Cream butter and sugars together. Beat in egg and vanilla and orange zest. Mix flour, salt, and baking soda together in a separate bowl. Add this mixture to the wet ingredients. Fold in remainder. Drop little wads onto a parchment-papered cookie sheet and bake at 375 for 8-10 minutes.

The original recipe actually calls for 3/4 c of coconut and an extra 1/2 c each of cranberries and chocolate. While this is theoretically delicious, the dough gets unwieldy really quickly, and the measurements I've given yielded an extremely chunky and delicious batch.

I also made these cocoa-fudge cookies from Cooking Light, with some alterations. The original recipe is fine, especially with a teaspoon of cinnamon and some cayenne for that Mexican hot chocolate flava, but it has some fiddly measurements in it (7 tablespoons? really?), so I think the one below is better. It is also super, super easy. Vegans, I strongly suggest you veganize these too. Seems like it would be easy--no egg, less butter than most cookie recipes, and the strong flavors of cocoa and mint to mask any substitution-related flavors.

Mint Brownie Cookies
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 c butter (you're going to melt this, so it doesn't need to be softened)
1 c unsweetened cocoa
1/2 c white sugar
1/2 c packed brown sugar
1/3 cup plain yogurt
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2-3/4 c Andes mints. Did you know they make Andes chips? This was an exciting discovery, since I foolishly assumed I would have to unwrap a lot of mints to make these cookies.

Melt the butter in the microwave or on the stovetop at low heat. Whisk in the cocoa powder and the sugars, right in the same bowl or pan. Stir in yogurt and vanilla. Mix remaining dry ingredients in a separate bowl, and then add them to the chocolate mixture. Stir in Andes mints (or other peppermint candy, if you like). Both times I've made these, the dough was very sticky--don't be alarmed by this. Drop little plops of dough onto a baking sheet, press some extra mints or chocolate chips onto the top if you like (I like), and bake at 350 for 8-10 minutes. DO NOT OVERBAKE.

I made some gingerbread cookies too, with candied ginger and everything, but they weren't anything to write home about (though that didn't stop me from eating them for breakfast). My mom's are much better.

I feel like a total doughball right now, by the way. Thanks cookies!

Balls.

You deserve to be reminded of this classic. Please notice how none of them are laughing during the performance, in contrast to every Adam Sandler sketch ever mounted on SNL.


Okay, I promise I'm going to stop embedding stuff for awhile. I have laryngitis, so I should really be banking all of my non-talking and funneling it into original blog content until I get my voice back. Today I am on total vocal rest, which means I am not going to say anything to anyone, and I will try to do the same tomorrow. I did a bit of talking yesterday while we were around the house and out and about--but I really shouldn't have talked at all. The Brit and I were tooling around at the Mall of Eternal Damnation for awhile yesterday, and instituted a voice-sparing thumbs-up/thumbs-down response system that he was getting a big kick out of. "This will probably be good for our relationship," he said.

"What, you mean if I don't talk so much?" I snorted. It's true that when you can barely speak, you think a lot harder about what is worth saying. So I'll just give him some laryngitis once I'm recovered and then we'll be all set.

Lovers of jewelry that can appear to be either classy or hippie/new-agey depending on your own personal style: I have been skulking around this ebay store today. I can't vouch for any of it, but the seller's feedback is 100% positive and it looks like you can get amazing deals on sterling silver and semi-precious stone jewelry. All of the auctions start at $0.95.

I can vouch for these cocoa-fudge cookies, which I made yesterday. They are super-easy, eggless (though not dairy-less), and rather delicious, like a flattened brownie. I doubled the recipe and added a teaspoon of cinnamon and they came out great, except for the sheet I baked too long.

The Christmas tree now only has ornaments starting about 30 inches off the ground. It's only a mild deterrent for the cat. I think he starts to feel jungle-istic when there's a tree (even a fake one from IKEA) around.

I get lost in your eyes.

This post is not going to mean a thing to you unless, in 1989, you were a young teenager who was still a little too captivated by top-40 radio. For those of you who are my exact contemporaries, however, you will probably cry and throw up when you read the following chart. It was a very dark year for music, if you ask me: NKOTB, Milli Vanilli, lots of hair bands and most especially their power ballads, Paula Abdul, etc. We also got "Love Shack," which you have to admit remains iconic, and Edie Brickell appeared on the scene, which is important only to those of us who veered off the pop charts and into the melodic and chick-heavy college radio-type alternapop. Oh, and to my friend/boss RJ. He really likes Edie Brickell too.

Billboard Top 100 - 1989
01. Look Away - Chicago
02. My Prerogative - Bobby Brown
03. Every Rose Has Its Thorn - Poison
04. Straight Up - Paula Abdul
05. Miss You Much - Janet Jackson
06. Cold Hearted - Paula Abdul
07. Wind Beneath My Wings - Bette Midler
08. Girl You Know Its True - Milli Vanilli
09. Baby, I Love Your Way-Freebird - Will To Power
10. Giving You The Best That I Got - Anita Baker
11. Right Here Waiting - Richard Marx
12. Waiting For A Star To Fall - Boy Meets Girl
13. Lost In Your Eyes - Debbie Gibson
14. Don't Wanna Lose You - Gloria Estefan
15. Heaven - Warrant
16. Girl I'm Gonna Miss You - Milli Vanilli
17. The Look - Roxette
18. She Drives Me Crazy - Fine Young Cannibals
19. On Our Own - Bobby Brown
20. Two Hearts - Phil Collins
21. Blame It On The Rain - Milli Vanilli
22. Listen To Your Heart - Roxette
23. I'll Be There For You - Bon Jovi
24. If You Don't Know Be By Now - Simply Red
25. Like A Prayer - Madonna
26. I'll Be Loving You (Forever) - New Kids On The Block
27. How Can I Fall? - Breathe
28. Baby Don't Forget My Number - Milli Vanilli
29. Toy Solider - Martika
30. Forever Your Girl - Paula Abdul
31. The Living Years - Mike & The Mechanics
32. Eternal Flame - The Bangles
33. Wild Thing - Tone Loc
34. When I See You Smile - Bad English
35. If I Could Turn Back Time - Cher
36. Buffalo Stance - Neneh Cherry
37. When I'm With You - Sheriff
38. Don't Rush Me - Taylor Dayne
39. Born To Be My Baby - Bon Jovi
40. Good Thing - Fine Young Cannibals
41. The Lover In Me - Sheena Easton
42. Bust A Move - Young M.C.
43. Once Bitten, Twice Shy - Great White
44. Batdance - Prince
45. Rock On - Michael Damian
46. Real Love - Jody Watley
47. Love Shack - B-52's
48. Every Little Step - Bobby Brown
49. Hangin' Tough - New Kids On The Block
50. My Heart Can't Tell You No - Rod Stewart
51. So Alive - Love & Rockets
52. You Got It (The Right Stuff) - New Kids On The Block
53. Armageddon It - Def Leppard
54. Satisfied - Richard Marx
55. Express Yourself - Madonna
56. I Like It - Dino
57. Soldier Of Love - Donny Osmond
58. Sowing The Seeds Of Love - Tears For Fears
59. Cherish - Madonna
60. When The Children Cry - White Lion
61. 18 And Life - Skid Row
62. I Don't Want Your Love - Duran Duran
63. Second Chances - .38 Special
64. The Way You Love Me - Karyn White
65. Funky Cold Medina - Tone Loc
66. In Your Room - Bangles
67. Miss You Like Crazy - Natalie Cole
68. Love Song - Cure
69. Secret Rendezvous - Karyn White
70. Angel Eyes - Jeff Healey Band
71. Patience - Guns N' Roses
72. Walk On Water - Eddie Money
73. Cover Girl - New Kids On The Block
74. Welcome To The Jungle - Guns N' Roses
75. Shower Me With Your Love - Surface
76. Stand - R.E.M.
77. Close My Eyes Forever - Lita Ford
78. All This Time - Tiffany
79. After All - Cher & Peter Cetera
80. Roni - Bobby Brown
81. Love In An Elevator - Aerosmith
82. Lay Your Hands On Me - Bon Jovi
83. The Promise - When In Rome
84. What I Am - Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians
85. I Remember Holding You - Boys Club
86. Paradise City - Guns N' Roses
87. I Wanna Have Some Fun - Samantha Fox
88. She Wants To Dance With Me - Rick Astley
89. Dreamin' - Vanessa Williams
90. It's No Crime - Babyface
91. Poison - Alice Cooper
92. This Time I Know It's For Real - Donna Summer
93. Smooth Criminal - Michael Jackson
94. Heaven Help Me - Deon Estus
95. Rock Wit'cha - Bobby Brown
96. Thinking Of You - Sa-fire
97. What You Don't Know - Expose
98. Surrender To Me - Ann Wilson & Robin Zander
99. The End Of The Innocence - Don Henley
100. Keep On Movin' - Soul II Soul

I encountered these via a CD tracklisting and just really, really had to share them with you because I was 14 in 1989 and life was really, really, really real, such that almost all of these songs have specific or even just generically teenage emotional memories attached to them, whether I liked the songs or not. For example, my sister Mol (she who is now finally in the hospital to push that baby out) was deeply devoted to the New Kids and had posters on the walls of our bedroom, which infuriated me. I spoke of the New Kids with nothing but derision. I really liked that joke about What has 100 legs and no pubic hair? The front row at a New Kids concert!

I also had a crippling crush on an extremely douchey boy for almost that entire year and I kept a special journal about it, which I've confessed before. I don't think I confessed that almost every entry had some heart-stabbing song lyric appended to it, written in tiny hand, like I wanted that soundtrack to be playing while I wrote or read the entry. MANY of these songs appeared in that journal, but I will go ahead and let you guess which ones.

Semi-related: who remembers the song "What About Me?" It was by a band called Moving Pictures. I have very strong sense memories for that song, too, like childhood riding around the neighborhood all melancholy on my bike. The song originally came out in 1983 but, get this, it had a weird comeback in 1989. Oh, shit, I'll just give you the youtube video because it's insane. It's like the most overwrought song ever.


In other news, I made this pumpkin bread and it is delicious and I'm going to eat a diet of it until it is gone.

Eat it.

Every year I make some sort of dish for Thanksgiving dinner and it ends up getting way sidelined, which is probably to be expected. I can't help making it voluminous and main-coursey, and everyone else can only manage to eat like two spoonfuls of it. This is okay, because I end up with lots of leftovers.

This year I made up a dish based on this simple lentil salad over at everybody like sandwiches. (NB: I can't keep up with many food blogs, but I really like this one because she basically looks in the fridge and comes up with her recipes that way, which is very consistent with the way I cook.) This salad will make you feel healthy and virtuous, I promise. It is also tasty and vegan.

A whole pantload of Lentil Wheatberry Salad:

+2 cups wheatberries. I used soft ones because that's what I had, but you could use hard wheatberries, and just find some cooking instructions on the internet. The soft ones cook up a little faster. You want to cook them until they are chewy, not mushy. For me this took about 45 minutes in 6 or 8 cups of water.
+1 cup of green lentils, cooked. You could use canned ones, but they cook up fairly quickly, and don't need presoaking.
+Half a red onion, diced.
+A bell pepper of your choice--I had an orange one--diced.
+A pomegranate, disassembled.
+A granny smith apple, diced.
+A half cup or cup of chopped walnuts or some other delicious nut.
+Chopped fresh parsley.
+You could also use celery, carrots, jicama, or pretty much any crunchy vegetable or fruit.
Mix everything in a big bowl.

For the dressing, I used:
+A bunch of olive oil.
+Juiced half a lemon (more would be fine).
+2 tsp of garlic powder (ditto).
+1.5 tsp cumin (or so).
+Balsamic vinegar.
+Salt and pepper.
Whisk together, pour over the salad, and mix it up. Sorry my measurements are imprecise. I had to keep adjusting this after I'd already mixed it into the salad. In fact, the whole process was improvisational and the dish kept getting bigger and bigger. But I'm fine with this. More for me.

This salad improves with age.

Much like you.

I'm gonna go talk to some food about this.

For your consideration:
-The spork that comes with the Mr Bento lunch jar is called a "forked spoon" in Mr. Bento documentation. This tickles me no end. I'm not sure I can explain why.
-You all know about this already but I'm going to tell you anyway because I'm cutting-edge like that. When Radiohead's "In Rainbows" came out a few weeks ago, it was all over Minnesota Public Radio, and not just on The Current, and I got intrigued and downloaded it. I do like Radiohead, but I really extra-liked that they decided to make the digital version available much earlier than the "discbox" version. You pre-order the discbox, you get a download anyway; you go download only, you decide whether and how much you will pay for it. Totally worth the 3 or 4 pounds I paid for it. I'm mentioning this now, well after the fact, because I just started listening to it today and I really dig it.
-I had a routine eye exam yesterday and mentioned the delicious occupational health hazard I am currently facing with my new and expanded job: eyestrain. The recommendation from my doc? Buy some drugstore reading glasses, the lowest power, for working at the computer. On the one hand I like this low-tech solution; on the other hand I'm not ready to start shopping at Chico's and scrapbooking and wearing a funky chain around my neck. No offense, of course. Just sayin.
-This brings me neatly to my next thing. For some reason I was thinking (as I often do) about Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret and about the whole belted-maxi phenomenon and I remembered a really splendid adjective cluster that my friend Nynorskmann told me about a few years ago. It is to be used to describe attractive women of a certain age, in place of, say, MILF. The adjective is "belted-maxi hot." As in "Helen Mirren is belted-maxi hot." Why had I forgotten about this? We may never know.
-Here is a recipe for ass problems. I mean it's delicious and nutritious and cold-weather-delightful, but forewarned is forearmed. Perhaps drop some Beano before you start cooking.
Lentil Barley Stew
2 medium onions, diced
6 cloves of garlic, bashed and minced
4 stalks of celery, minced
big pinch of red pepper flakes
basil and rosemary to taste (a teaspoon each?)
Sautee these in your soup pot in olive oil for 5 minutes.
Add 12 cups of water and 1.5 cups of rinsed and picked lentils. Bring to a boil, then reduce the heat and simmer for 20 minutes.
Add a big can of diced or crushed tomatoes and 1.5 cups of barley. Simmer for 40 minutes or so, til everything is tender.
Add 2 cups of grated carrots (3 or 4 medium) and a few handfuls of spinach and cook for another 5 minutes. Other delicious additions would be green beans, zucchini, kale or chard. Go nuts. Salt to taste.
Serve with delicious bread and maybe some crumbled feta on top and then await the storm.
-I have such a big crush on Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin right now.